[Advisory message shows up inside the screen of Maxum Brain with Maxum Brain as the announcer]
- Maxum Brain: WARNING: This episode may contain violence, coarse language and mature subject matter that may be not suitable for younger audiences. Viewer discretion is advised. [In Australia, A brand new episode of Sidekick is classified M. It contains coarse language, drug references, strong adult themes, violence, crude humour and horror. Cartoon Network recommends viewing by mature audiences. Aboriginal and Torre Strait Islanders should be advised that this episode contain images and voices from deceased persons.] [Or any different advisory warning depending on which country the show aired in]
[Title card shows a black and white images of Kitty, Vana and Mandy with their eyes censored out with censor boxes. The title on the censored bars is TopSecret Font. Crime-Drama music plays.]
[Episode opens with a close up of the Maxum Mansion]
- Eric: [Walks to Trevor on the couch, holding popcorn] Hey Trevor, what that are you watching?
- Trevor: J***** T***.
- Eric: Piff, that show stinks ass. Wanna watch the news?
- Trevor: Sure. No problemo.
- Kitty: Uh, Eric. You might want to see this.
[CBC Splitsboro ident with L.A.S.E.R. of Fairness in the background]
- Announcer: This is CBC Splitsboro.
[CBC News Splitsboro at 6 intro]
- Flash Jordan: Tonight, will be a live coverage of the episode that could cause terror all across the globe. A TV station had announced on Tuesday that a new episode of the infamous show, J***** T***, will feature the main character pledge allegiance the terror group known as ISIS (Islamic State of Syria and the Levant). This annoucement caused great concern in Canada from Toronto, Vancouver, Montreal, Halifax or whatever the place you name to here in Splitsboro. Blunderwoman, why does it concern the whole country?
[Cuts to Flash Jordan in the studio and Blunderwoman in front of the L.A.S.E.R Hall of Fairness guarded with Canadian troops]
- Blunderwoman: Well, basically. The people who heard the announcement said that the episode violated the CRTC's standards in promoting terrorism and could spread terror among the world. That's why the Canadian soldiers and policemen were guarding the L.A.S.E.R Hall of Fairness and all other places of importance.
- Flash Jordan: Does it spread everywhere around the world?
- Blunderwoman: Yes. According to one of our news corespondents in Washington D.C. that all streets and places are heavily guarded in case of an attack by ISIS militants. According to a government spokesperson, he said that ISIS has released a video featuring Abu Mohammad al-Adnani. Al-Adnani said that he will accept J***** T***'s pledge if the episode airs. It caused a lot of concerns around the world. I think the world is in a state of emergency.
- Flash Jordan: Thank you, Blunderwoman. We can't show the newly released video due to CBC's policy. Coming up, who will stop the station from airing the episode? Will Canada hunt down J***** T*** and his family? The history of J***** T***. Plus an interview with the former dog of the incoming-terrorist. That's coming up after the break.
[Cuts to commercials on TV]
[Mandy slams the door closed after she and Vana enters the Mansion]
- Mandy: Sorry we're late, me and Vana went to Supers R' Us. But unfortunately, when we drive in the Maxum Mobile to get to the Mansion, the security were asking us if we had any suspicious things. The vehicle had no suspicious things. That's fucking scary that all civilians, superheroes, sidekicks, supervillains and henchmens were checked for suspicious items due to a recent announcement about that stupid show that I don't like.
- Vana: Come on, that idiot smokes dope and drinking ooze alot.
[cuts to Eric and Trevor with their jaws drop]
- Vana: What!! It's true!
- Eric: Ok. Here are the reasons why J***** T*** is an idiot. One, he thinks that he and his family are smart. Two, his jokes aren't funny. And three, he is acting very suspicious on something. I heard from Wastebook, Squawk, Fumblr, Fininterest and all other social media networking sites that the show contains dark secrets about him that no one can solve. But, we're going to find out who is controlling that evil show and we'll take the episode off the air to stop the ISIS menace once and for all. Anyone who like to volunteer??
[Trevor, Kitty, Vana and Mandy stares at Eric ]
- Eric: No one? Okay. I just-
- Kitty, Vana and Mandy: I'll take care of the situation. Not me you. You too weak, you scared little filthy bastard bitch.
[Kitty, Vana and Mandy fight each other]
[Eric breaks up fight]
- Eric: Girls, can we just work together!! No one cannot solve the problem without helping each other. If you don't help each other, ISIS will spears terror across the globe thanks to an episode of J***** T***. You girls go to Ottawa to pull the episode off the air. We'll watch what's going on. It's that fair?
- Kitty, Vana and Mandy: Yes.
- Eric: Then, good luck on telling the Prime Minister. He'll solve all the problems, the nation had. Trevor and Brain to the Maxum-Situation Room. But, first I must invite all the supers first.
- Trevor: Wicked!!!
- Maxum Brain: Another huge situation.. again.
[Eric pulls mobile phone and dials a number]
[Kitty, Vana and Mandy shooting laser guns transition]
[Cut to Splitsboro full of police and military officers]
[Kitty, Vana and Mandy walking through the streets]
- Mandy: Look at all the officers who had to guard the city. It's like a police state. We must talk to Mayor Swift about the situation.
[Cuts to the L.A.S.E.R. Hall of Fairness enterance guarded by two Canadian soldiers]
- Canadian soldier #1: Did you have any suspicious items?
- Kitty: No.
[Canadian soldier #2 searches for anything suspicious in Kitty, Vana and Mandy's clothes with a scanner]
- Canadian soldier #1: All clear?
- Canadian soldier #2: All clear.
[Kitty, Vana and Mandy enters the L.A.S.E.R. Hall of Fairness]
[Cuts to Mayor Swift's office]
- Mayor Swift: How are doing, girls?
- Kitty, Vana and Mandy: Good.
- Vana: Did you reasearch about J***** T***?
- Mayor Swift: Not yet. But what I learned is that he wanted all "cartoon infidels" to be killed in a "sea of bodies". Check out ISIS's propaganda video.
[Mayor Swift shows a propaganda video on his laptop]
[ISIS propaganda video starts]
- Abu Mohammad al-Adnani: [Speaking Arabic. Translation: The caliph will accept your pledge of allegiance to our brothers for jihad against all cartoon infidels if you air your episode. From now on, your name is not "J***** T***". But "Ali Faiz Al-Shakhsiat Kartunia". Together, we all Muslim cartoon characters to join the Islamic State against all infidels.]
[Shows dead bodies and other gory stuff that are pixelated and blurred out]
[Cuts to Vana shocked at the video, cuts to Kitty and Mandy angered by the video]
- Abu Mohammad Al-Adnani: [Speaking Arabic: Translation: We have declared of a formation of a new wilayat called "Wilayat Al-Tun". Praise Allah for making Ali Faiz the new emir of the wilayat.]
[ISIS propaganda video ends]
[Cuts to Kitty really mad]
- Kitty: How the fuck is up to J***** T*** this time?!
[Cuts to Mayor Swift turning off his laptop]
- Mayor Swift: Well from what I also learned is that he has a troubled past from torturing his dog, failing at his tests, making illegal weapons, etc. But, I must make a statement on Johnny Test being a member of ISIS. Want to come with me?
[Cuts to Kitty, Vana and Mandy shrugs then shakes their heads]
[Cuts to J***** T***'s house. A pig walks by but then gets grabbed by an ISIS militant towards the house. The ISIS militant then closes the door]
- ISIS militant #1: YOU ARE HARAM!!! AN ANIMAL OF SATAN!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!!
- ISIS militant #2: ALLAHU AKBAR!!!
[The pig squeals as it gets killed by ISIS militants]
[The blood of the pig sheds under the front door.]
[Maxum Man eyes transition]
[Cuts to the Maxum-Situation Room]
- Eric: ...TV screens, check. Telephone booth, check. Laptops, check. Comfy chairs, check. Clocks, check. Chandeliers, check. Food and drinks, check. Microphone, check. Speakers, check. Golden Maxum Man symbol, check. Flags, check. DVD/VHS player, check. Video game console, check. All, check. Phew!
- Trevor: So, what we going to do?
- Eric: I've set the spy button cameras on each of the girls but I will turn them on once they are close to J****** T***'s house. Watch..
[Eric presses the wrong button, A lady in the shower screams off-screen]
- Eric: Fuck! Wrong one.
[Presses button, cuts to TV turning off then switches to camcorder view of Mayor Swift's office that reads "Kitty-Cam" on the top right]
- Eric: You see, Trevor. That's what this gadget does.
- Trevor: That is dope.
- Maxum Brain: I'm very concerned about the girls. According to my calculation, ISIS is one of the most deadliest terrorist organizations in the world. They committed crimes against humanity such as beheadings, slavery, killing gay men by falling them to their deaths, stoning, burning them in cages, shootings, etc. Please, tell the girls to be careful.
- Eric: [speaking trough the microphone] Kitty, Vana, Mandy, be careful. This mission is highly dangerous as ISIS will kill, capture or execute you. Be safe. Clear?
- Kitty: [speaks through speaker] Clear. Over and out.
[Kitty hacking transition]
[Cuts to Maxum Tank in the Maxum Garage]
- Mandy: So, what is anything anyways.
- Vana: Why you ask? It's the badass thing Maxmun Man ever had. Let me show you Sidekick Lesion #555.
[Vana pulls MaxumPad, zooms to Sidetube video of Sidekick Lesion #1939]
[Cuts to a coloured trench with laser artillery shells exploding into the ground wand laser gun fire]
- Maxum Man: [voiceover] Deep inside one of the most sickening, deadliest and well..boring battlefields. One sidekick must defend themselves from an unknown enemy...
[Golly Gee Kid jumping from explosion with his laser submachine gun]
- Golly Gee Kid: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!! I can't take this anymore!! I don't want to die!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!
[Golly Gee Kid runs away from enemy fire and goes into the tunnel to hide under one of the trenches and breathes faster]
- Golly Gee Kid: Phew!
[Golly Gee Kid hears the sound of the Maxum Tank]
[Maxum Tank fire it's huge laser from its barrel to blow off the tunnel off]
- Golly Gee Kid: No! No! NO!
[Maxum Tank turns its coupla with four laser machine gun turrets to aim at Golly Gee Kid, coupla opens up to reveal Maxum Man inside the tank]
- Maxum Man: Well, Golly Gee Kid. Isn't it fun to be in a battlefield.
[Golly Gee Kid nods his head]
- Maxum Man: [Laughs] Sure it does.
[Maxum Man Shuts the coupla and the Maxum Tank fire it's laser machine gun turrets at Golly Gee Kid]
[Cuts to Golly Gee Kid covering his face with his laser submachine gun]
- Golly Gee Kid: [Screams]
[Cuts to title card of Sidekick Lession #1939]
- Maxum Man: [voiceover] Sidekick Lession #1939, the Maxum Tank. Sponsored by MaxumCorp.
- Maxum Man: This all new-vehicle created built by MaxumCorp is every superhero and sidekick's dream in case of warfare or any dangerous situations. So, how this works. My clones explain to you.
[Cuts to a video about the Maxum Tank]
- Maxum Chair Clones: The Maxum Tank is a all-terrain, weather proof tank that has a horsepower of over 4,000, it's speed level is more than 500. So that does this. It carries up to 5 people per Maxum Tank. It has a barrel which can shoot any types of lasers. Four turret laser machine guns and a shield which can protect itself from missiles, mines, bullets and sharp weapons. How do drive it, drive like a regular tank does. Inside the tank has three seats for the driver, weapons storage, laser reloading station, mechanical station, a bed, a radar, a TV and a computer. In case it doesn't work, we'll give a 10 year warranty for free. Call this number right now to get a Maxum Tank for free. Call now! If you call now, you get this extra Maxum Tank for free! Call now!
[Cuts to Maxum Man with soot-cover Golly Gee Kid]
- Maxum Man: Well thanks. So remember, if you want to attack an enemy in instant, get the new Maxum Tank. Call the number right now.
- Goly Gee Kid: [holds white flag up high] I...Surrender... [faints]
- Female announcer: This Sidekick Lession is sponsored by MaxumCorp. Where Maxum things can happen.
[Video ends. Vana puts MaxumPad away.]
- Kitty: You have to read the instructions carefully cause this badass really expensive. [takes out instructions] Warning: the Maxum Tank is MaxumCorp's most dangerous vehicle to be ever built. Failure to comply will result in injuries or even death. Follow these instructions carefully. First step, know the driving directions of the tank. Second step, shut down the tank after use. Third step, move inside the tank or 30 metres away (if outside the tank) from the shield as the shield may contain electromagnetic elements. Fourth step, when handling laser ammo, handle it with care. Fifth step, charge the laser ammo with the charger located at the back of the tank. [Cuts to clock hands turning clockwise, cuts to the Maxum Mansion with the sun and moon rising and setting while Kitty continues reading the instructions] Last step, inspect anything especially the engines. Enjoy your tank. [looking confused] Girls?
[Zooms to Vana and Mandy sleeping]
[Sidekick symbol transition]
- Kitty: [throws away instructions] Fuck that.
[Pamplemoose scree board transition]
[Cuts to Pamplemooe's mansion]
[Pamplemoose wakes up, grabs newspaper, his eyes pop out]
- Professor Pamplemoose: WHAT IN SIDEKICK'S NAME IS GOING!!!!!????? J***** T*** IS AN ISIS MEMBER!!!!!????? I BETTER GET INSIDE BEFORE THEY KILL ME!!!!! [screams and runs inside the house then closed the doors and the security lock around his mansion] YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!!! YOU FUCKING HEAR THAT, ISIS!!! NEVER!!!! Oh, a cookie. [eats oatmeal with the chunky peanut butter chips offscreen]
[Eric and Trevor's face transition]
[CBC News Update intro]
[Cuts to the Flash Jordan]
- Flash Jordan: As we continue our coverage on the story about J***** T*** planning to join ISIS via an episode. One of our news correspondent has interviewed the incoming terrorist's dog who wishes to unidentified.
[Cuts to the Fandarin interviewing D****, S**** and M*** Test.]
- The Fandarin: So tell me, why did your owner wanted to join ISIS?
[Cuts to a silhouette of D****]
- D****: He is said to me that he doesn't want to live in this "filthy" place, he said that he rather die for Islam. According to the Quran, it is forbidden ("haram") to commit such terrorist acts.
- The Fandarin: How is his life going with you before this happened?
- D****: He was a happy-go-lucky kid who likes inventions, food, plays video games, watches TV, skateboards, etc.
- The Fandarin: What happened recently?
- D****: [covers his eyes and cry] He...He...He...killed his family with a gun last night while they are sleeping. I was asleep in my brand-new doghouse at the time of the shooting. I had no choice but to escape to the adoption centre as a refugee. He would have kill me if I stayed in his house.
- The Fandarin: How safe you are at the adoption centre?
- D****: Very safe from the horrors of last night.
- The Fandarin: Did he ever post anything before he joins ISIS?
- D****: Yes. [shows J***** T***'s posts online on his iPad] On Twitter, he stated that he will go to Turkey then to Syria to fight for Islam. On his Facebook, he stated that he rather live in the Islamic State (more like Un-Islamic State) than Canada. He even post terrorist threats on YouTube which I will not show you.
- The Fandarin: Did you stop him before joining ISIS?
- D****: Yes. I did stop him at first. But he didn't listen to me. Now, my life is ruined by himself. Whenever I see his face now, I think of ISIS.
- The Fandarin: Alright, thanks.
- D****: You too.
[Cuts to the Flash Jordan]
- Flash Jordan: That is the interview of the former dog of an ISIS member. We'll update the story as soon as it progresses.
[Cuts to commercials on TV]
[Vana taking out clothes from the closet transition]
[Cuts to the inside of the Maxum Tank]
- Vana: WHAT KIND OF SICK FUCKTARD WOULD KILLED HIS FAMILY???!!! I'M GOING TO CHOKEHOLD HIM TO DEATH!!! I DON'T IF HE IS DANGEROUS OR NOT!!! I JUST WANT TO KILL THAT FUCKTARD!!!
- Vana: [picks up phone] Hello? Savannah, you have to check the news. It's an ongoing terroristic situation. This is for your safety. Don't worry, I will be fine. God bless. Bye. [puts away phone]
- Vana: Sorry, it was my sister. She had to call me on where I am.
- Mandy: So, any progress on stopping the episode to air.
- Kitty: According to my calculation, it is still on progress. We are half away from Ottawa. So, it was take some days to get there.
- Vana: Quick! Use Speed Mode! Now!
[Maxum Tank speeds up]
[Everyone in the Maxum Tank screams]
[Trails left by the Maxum Tank were set on fire on the highway]
[Cuts to J***** T***'s room with silhouette of J***** T*** himself]
- J***** T***: Once this episode will air...ISIS will rule all cartoons...I will kill anyone who doesn't follow me...and no one is going to stop me or the Islamic State ever.
[Cuts to a mirror with blurred ISIS attacks]
[Cuts to a black title card that reads "To Be Continued"]
[Sidekick ending credits]